Your eyes became dull and hazed
Overused razor blades
Tearing, scraping, pulling my skin.
You lost that smooth electricity in your gaze
That caused every fiber of me to stand on the edge of eternity.
Every breath you took became labored, trying to find a reason, any at all, to carry on.
And your reason was harder on me than the pills you swallowed.
I know living is hard to accept when you can wallow in alcohol and self-pity.
So I threw my ring at you to try and break
The circle we had been living in.
A year and a half I had to wait for you to climb back up
From the underground. The journey down is a lot easier than the one back-
It’s a slip and slide
Just down on your knees and
But after that year and a half, I don’t know if I’m ready yet
To accept the fact that
We both have changed.
Your eyes are no longer dulled but I still see
The reflection of pain staring back at me.
Your forehead is still wrinkled from all the time you spent worrying about
Where you still get your next fix. My bags are darker and heavier than you remember.
The problem is, there is only so long we can rely on the clowns to pass the show
Before we have to make the curtain call.
Sooner rather than later
We have to decide where we go.
Do we hold hands or do we
Walk blind and alone?
You tell me.
Tags: addiction, drugs, fear, hope, love, original poetry, pain, pills, poetry
Your eyes became dull and hazed
Tags: abnormal, crazy, mad, mad people, revision
Birds of a feather flock together and
In much the same fashion
Mad people gather.
Clinging to each other
As they try to scrape together a sense of normalcy
While laughing at their abnormalities.
They lie through their Cheshire cat teeth
Sharpened to points so they bleed whenever they smile.
Every word they speak is a lie
And they speak often.
“Pain is best when it comes from within,”
They say, blood dripping down their chins,
“After all, those who smile often have something to hide
And those who smile brightest hold the darkest secrets inside.”
It has always seemed to me that everyone has a nitch,
A warm place to call home,
Until I met this man.
I don’t know who he is-
He left with the wind before I could find out his name.
Constantly in movement,
He lives hour to hour
Because tomorrow is too far away.
Places that one exited him
Quickly fall to gray.
The one time he spoke,
He only had this to say to me,
“Sometimes, I get the feeling that
I’m never meant to sty anywhere.
Maybe I was predestined to wander for all time.
So, as long as my feet can carry me,
The road will be my home.”
For the longest time,
I sat in the dirt you left me in
Trying to compile reasons why I needed you.
But when the dust cleared,
I could see the trail of my wasted time and energy.
I was released from the spell of your eyes and I could see
You are nothing
But a leech whispering sweet things until
The veins run dry.
You are a curse,
A vampire with no direction, no purpose.
You have nothing to offer but a smile,
So you prance and giggle through life until you get what you need to survive.
You leave nothing but bodies in your wake,
With scalpels in their hearts because
You had always swore it was a needle and thread.
But now it’s on to the next;
There is nothing left here.
I got you to the point you needed to be,
Because Christ knows you would have never arrived without me.
But leaving me is the best thing you could have ever given me.
There is still enough blood in my veins for me to carry on.
I survived your killing spree.
I’m not entranced by your pretty face because
I now know the demon lurking inside.
Now that you are on your way,
All I have to do is wait
Because the day is coming when you will fall.
Then the corpses will rise from dirt and ash
And drag you back to Hell along with them.
They’ll pull away your porcelain skin so the world can see
The monster buried underneath.
And as you claw and plead for me,
Beg to help save you.
I’ll just laugh out loud and say,
“We’ll talk later.”
Tags: childhood, dreams, endings, friendship, hope, memories, original poetry, poetry, running, time
Ever since I can remember,
We would meet in a special place made for only you and me:
A bright, green field with nothing but a lonely sundial.
At the start of each spring,
That is where you would be waiting for me.
We were young and had no concept of time,
Or the consequences it brings
So we thought nothing of playing around that single sundial.
We were content just to be in each other’s company.
Then when the summer would fade,
We always promised to meet back in the same place at winter’s end.
We were naïve to think that
We would remain unchanged.
We were too stupid to see that youth melts away.
Our naivety died on the spring day when
We saw each other and realized,
We were two strangers meeting for the first time.
We were shocked to see a single winter could change everything.
We tried to smile through the grief but
It only made the hurt worse.
So the next day,
It was only me
Staring at that sundial.
I was made to realize
How much time had actually gone by.
Seven years never seemed like much until it was glaring me in the face.
I was forced to reconcile that
The shadow on the sundial’s face and I are one in the same-
Soon we both will fade away and be nothing
But a distant memory.
We used to chase butterflies but now
We are chasing dreams, trying to find where we’re meant to be.
Yet, I still can’t help but hold onto my childhood hope
That you will be brought back to me.
So, if your dreams do lead you to try and find me,
Meet me far from the sundial,
So we can be naïve again and try to outrun time.
Tags: breaking free, freedom, original poetry, poetry, running away
There is a place people go
To illuminate all of their deepest fantasies and
Make their misery temporarily disappear.
A place that exists on the edge of reality,
Supported by the dreams of those who have long since
Left them behind.
The citizens are of a special breed;
Their history clearly marked on the same sleeve as their heart.
It is not by chance that this is where we always meet.
Bellied up to the bar,
You confess that all of your dreams have been watered down.
And, from what I can see,
You’ve pursued happiness with every fiber of your being.
But you must realize one thing:
You need to move on.
Take it from someone who knows,
This type of comfort is deadly in high doses.
After eight years of living here,
This place has nothing left to offer you.
It’s not that I am unsympathetic,
I understand better than most
The fear you feel
And the lull of this sweet sound but it is clear-
You need to leave.
Though she may be beautiful,
This seemingly peaceful town will only drag you down.
So run while you can,
While you can still be free,
And find peace anywhere but here.
Tags: fling, happiness, individuality, laughs, love, memories, original poetry, poetry, temorary
Where to begin.
How could I start to write in words the way that I feel?
I’ll try my best but,
You won’t laugh when it comes out wrong or sappy.
When we first met,
We both agreed that
The simple life is overrated and
Life is better when it’s complicated.
So we blurred the lines and
Blended our colors to make a
Lovely, passionate gray.
You were my knight rocking black and blue and
I was your maiden tied up from behind.
We didn’t care what people said because,
For that moment,
We were the only thing we had.
When I was with you,
I shone brighter than any star
But maybe that was only because of the glitter on my eyes.
Yes, there were girls with nicer makeup and
Expensive clothes but
None of them cared about you like me.
But, from the start,
I knew this wasn’t meant to last.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is:
Thanks for all the laughs
And for all the great memories, and, most importantly,
Never making me feel alone and letting me
Know, it doesn’t matter what people say or think of me.
Tags: clarity, confidence, hope, journey, love, original poetry, poetry, wisdom
I have often lied when people ask that age-old question,
“Are you all right?”
I grin, look them right in the eye, and lie.
But I am finished lying:
I am not all right.
Now, I have never been one to inspire pity, but
In Sunday school they taught me that the truth will set you free.
So, in all honesty,
He hurt me.
I admit, I was no lamb to the slaughter.
At best, I was a black sheep that strayed into danger,
But I can finally admit it was not just me.
He was a humble heart,
A fellow black sheep,
That grew scared and ran away
Leaving me to fend for myself in a wilderness filled with wolves and unfriendly beasts.
At first, I was scared to complete this venture on my own because
We went in together.
But this black sheep found its way home
And has clarity that only comes with completing a journey on your own.
Out of the woods, into the light,
I can finally see,
I really am all right.
I can no longer lie and say,
He has not crossed my mind.
He did, at one point, care for me.
And I can’t shake this feeling that one day,
He will complete his own journey and come back to me;
And by that, I don’t mean crawling.
He will walk to me with the same confidence I have found and say,
I won’t deny how much he hurt me,
I have battle scars to prove it,
But forgiveness is stronger than hate and fear,
That is what I believe.
And the reason I can say that is because of those words he once spoke to me,
“Hope is alive.”
Tags: beauty, broken promises, forgive me, forgiveness, friendship, heartache, irrationality, kindness, love, mistakes, original poetry, poetry
I don’t know if you will ever see this,
I don’t know if you have the patience to even read my name,
But I have so much to confess.
I know I promised I was here to help you heal.
I swore I would never make you cry.
I looked in your bright brown eyes and said,
“I know what it feels like to be hurt,
I’ll always be here for you.”
I went back on my word.
I let my mind run away
And let it take my trust and understanding with it.
It was always hard for me to believe
Someone could care for me,
But when we met, you made me see that it could be true.
But instead of letting you in,
I took a step back
Off the edge of rationality.
I hurt myself,
But worst of all,
I hurt you.
You, with the most honest and true soul I’ve ever had the honor of seeing.
The one who always reassured me that It will all be okay in the end.
I wish there was a way for me to justify not believing it.
Shame should be brought upon me for ever daring to question
Such a pure heart.
I wish I could take it all back because,
I knew all your reassurances to be true.
But I can’t.
And I will never be able to erase the hurt I imposed upon you.
I hope one day you will forgive me, and things will be the way they once were.
Maybe one day you will look at me and smile again.
Maybe I will even be able to make you laugh.
Or maybe someone will come along and they’ll be the one to mend your heart and
You’ll forget all about me.
That is what I deserve, really.
But know that even if years make your memories of me fade,
I will never let go of the kindness you have shown me
And I’ll take this heartache and guilt with me to the grave.
So, if this is indeed farewell,
Know that no one will ever be
More beautiful or true than you
My dearest Daphne.