Archive for May, 2014

I have often lied when people ask that age-old question,
“Are you all right?”
I grin, look them right in the eye, and lie.
But I am finished lying:
I am not all right.
Now, I have never been one to inspire pity, but
In Sunday school they taught me that the truth will set you free.
So, in all honesty,
He hurt me.
I admit, I was no lamb to the slaughter.
At best, I was a black sheep that strayed into danger,
But I can finally admit it was not just me.
He was a humble heart,
A fellow black sheep,
That grew scared and ran away
Leaving me to fend for myself in a wilderness filled with wolves and unfriendly beasts.
At first, I was scared to complete this venture on my own because
We went in together.
But this black sheep found its way home
And has clarity that only comes with completing a journey on your own.
Out of the woods, into the light,
I can finally see,
I really am all right.

I can no longer lie and say,
He has not crossed my mind.
He did, at one point, care for me.
And I can’t shake this feeling that one day,
He will complete his own journey and come back to me;
And by that, I don’t mean crawling.
He will walk to me with the same confidence I have found and say,
“I’m sorry.”
I won’t deny how much he hurt me,
I have battle scars to prove it,
But forgiveness is stronger than hate and fear,
That is what I believe.
And the reason I can say that is because of those words he once spoke to me,
“Hope is alive.”

 

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Open Mic reading of “A Letter From The Crazy One”

Ever wonder what the Grouchy Artist looks and sounds like in person? Well here’s your chance to find out. This was my first open mic so you can probably hear the nerves in my voice but, hey, practice makes perfect. Hopefully there are many more to come. Hope you guys enjoy!

Dear Daphne,
I don’t know if you will ever see this,
I don’t know if you have the patience to even read my name,
But I have so much to confess.
I know I promised I was here to help you heal.
I swore I would never make you cry.
I looked in your bright brown eyes and said,
“I know what it feels like to be hurt,
I’ll always be here for you.”
I went back on my word.
I let my mind run away
And let it take my trust and understanding with it.
It was always hard for me to believe
Someone could care for me,
But when we met, you made me see that it could be true.
But instead of letting you in,
I took a step back
Off the edge of rationality.
 I hurt myself,
But worst of all,
I hurt you.
You, with the most honest and true soul I’ve ever had the honor of seeing.
The one who always reassured me that It will all be okay in the end.
I wish there was a way for me to justify not believing it.
Shame should be brought upon me for ever daring to question
Such a pure heart.
I wish I could take it all back because,
Deep down,
I knew all your reassurances to be true.
But I can’t.
And I will never be able to erase the hurt I imposed upon you.
I hope one day you will forgive me, and things will be the way they once were.
Maybe one day you will look at me and smile again.
Maybe I will even be able to make you laugh.
Or maybe someone will come along and they’ll be the one to mend your heart and
You’ll forget all about me.
That is what I deserve, really.
But know that even if years make your memories of me fade,
I will never let go of the kindness you have shown me
And I’ll take this heartache and guilt with me to the grave.
So, if this is indeed farewell,
Know that no one will ever be
More beautiful or true than you
My dearest Daphne.