Posts Tagged ‘admiration’

Smile because
you’ll get a sweetie. Happiness will follow.
Smile because you should.
Don’t be ungrateful- look with your eyes
your mind is a lie.
Happiness is held in camera lenses,
It’s subjective, right?
Hold your breath. It’ll be alright.

I deserve this.
After yearning for marble beauty
I’m finally seen as a statue
to be adored.
My cloud with silver lining is
laced with mercury.
After years of
chasing the smooth ideal
all I want to be is a
painting.
My smile is made of
oil and mistakes.
I’m a hard piece to take in:
Walk away. Come back again.
The point of a painting is layers.

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At my age you would think that
I would have acquired enough vocabulary to be able to describe the happiness you make me feel.
There are literally hundreds of thousands of words and word combinations in the English language,
you would think at least one would set my inspiration off.
Instead, I’m stuck here
sitting at my desk staring at a blank page.
It is moments like these where I love to hate Billy Joel.
Not only can he eloquently express his emotions in words,
he can sing them too.
I can’t even begin to find the words to describe you and me.
God gave him all that talent,
why couldn’t some be spared for me?
Sometimes I think Billy understands us better than I do.
He knows how elated you make me feel,
and that this feeling hasn’t happened for the longest time.
He understands all the love, anger, nerves and anticipation that comes
with feeling this way.
He never gets it wrong, either.
Maybe it’s because he’s seen the world,
and has met all sorts of people.
Maybe dealing with the stage fright and constant change of scenery has
made him immune to this uninspired blank stare I have.
Or maybe he is just simply smarter than me.
Maybe one day I’ll be as wise as Billy
and will finally get these words out of me.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to find a way to say that
you make me too joyous for the words I know,
and too nervous to discover new ones.
Until that day comes,
I’ll just spin around in my desk chair,
pen in hand,
and think of the love  you make me feel,
and know that at least Billy understands me.